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Stacy Steven's Secondary Infertility Story

☀️ CLICK HERE TO BUY THE BEST SOCKS ON THE PLANET TO HELP WOMEN WITH INFERTILITY! A portion of every single sale will go to an incredible woman experiencing infertility. They make the BEST gifts for women experiencing infertility to remind them they are loved OR to wear to your own appointments while working hard to grow your family to remind you that you have this community of women linking arms with you. You are incredible, sister!

CLICK HERE to join our safe, private Facebook group to meet other incredible women who are walking your path. ☀️

Read Stacy's Story here:

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My name is Stacy Stevens and I’ve been dealing with second infertility for 3, almost 4 years. 

We got pregnant so fast with our daughter Payton that infertility never even crossed my mind. I always knew I would love being a mom, I just didn’t realize I’d love it this much! So when Payton turned one in August 2016, we started trying again. I always knew I wanted my kids to be close in age, and I was always so jealous of others who had that. I honestly didn’t think we’d have any problems and I was excited!

I got my IUD out and then a few weeks later got a positive test. I was ecstatic! But that turned to a miscarriage. It hurt, but I was positive we would be right back to where we were. Well, 6 months passed by and nothing had happened. It was kind of hard, but I knew others waited way longer, so I kept my chin up! My doctor suggested Clomid since I stopped getting cycles regularly. We did a few rounds of that and nothing had happened after a year, so he suggested we go to a fertility doctor.

I thought for sure we’d go and he would say that something was wrong, but it was simple to fix. How could I have gotten pregnant so easily and now nothing? It made no sense! I loved our doctor. He was so great and made us both feel comfortable. He started me on Metformin to help with cycles. Then we did Clomid and Femmara, and I didn’t react at all so we repeated. Once again I didn’t react, so he upped the doses and we tried again. And again, and again...I remember every ultrasound I would walk in feeling so excited to see if the follicles had matured, and nothing. Then he upped it again. This time I got one mature follicle! It was January 2018 by this time, and I was ready. We picked up the Ovidrel shot and unfortunately had to head to my in-laws for a funeral weekend. It wasn’t idle circumstances, but I was still ready. I heard so many success stories, I thought this was it!

When I got my cycle, it hurt. But we tried again and no reaction. We upped the dose again and I started going a little crazy on the Clomid! I was so irritable and would get mad at my husband for doing the most normal things, like putting gas in my car or putting salt on my fries, which I normally love. Like how dare he? The doctor decided no more Clomid. He called it the “divorce drug” so we just tried Femmara and I reacted! I was once again excited and he sent the Ovidrel and we scheduled an IUI this time. I had no doubt it would work! Well, it didn’t. I took a month off just to collect my feelings. Up to this point, I felt I handled it okay. I still had so much hope!

When we went back, he said we needed to try some injections. He started me on Femmara and then Gonal- f. I had one almost two Mature follicles, so we went in for a second IUI! It had to work! We had one more than usual! It didn’t. I was so confused at this point. He suggested we do more injections. I was tired at this time. I gained so much weight from the stress and all the hormones, and I just wasn't myself. I took another small break and then went back. We repeated the femmara and gonal-f, and there was no reaction. How?? So he added a day - once again, nothing. He added another day and still nothing. This time it killed. I had never cried at any appointment before this. I hate crying! I left feeling sad and disappointed, but this time I couldn’t handle it. I felt completely defeated. I couldn’t hold it back as his assistant told us we could try more days or take a break and come back.

At this point it had been 3 years since we first started trying. It hurt really bad. I didn’t know what to do. It was getting really expensive and I felt as if I had been so consumed in this journey. I was doing shots, medicines, ultrasounds, all seemingly for nothing. I started getting really depressed. Then my sister-in-law who I thought didn’t want any more kids decided to get pregnant and she said she had to try for a whole two months! That killed. I hated that I felt bitter. Then two of my other sister-in-laws announced they were pregnant too. This whole journey I was so happy for others, and it never hurt or made me bitter. But these times were different. It was just all around me and too close to home. It seemed that he one thing I wanted, everyone around me was getting! Was I happy for them? 100 percent. Was I hurting and jealous also? Yes! I had to keep my distance from one because of the comments she made. I’m not proud of it, but I had to do it for me and my sanity. It has been a surreal few years of being part of this club that you feel so isolated in, but there are so many feeling your pain. This has been the most
emotional time of my life, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. So I let myself be sad when someone announces a pregnancy announcement, or I let myself feel jealous then I go on and try to make their experience a happy one! Then I go home and let myself feel it.



We just started going back to retry, but are on hold with this virus! We just want one more kid. My heart aches as my daughter always wants to play and we have no one here especially during this quarantine! We are hoping this year, as crazy as it’s been, will be our year and we will slowly find healing. It’s taken a toll on our finances and our marriage, almost to a breaking point. But I’m happy to say we’ve actually come out stronger now! We had to accept that we were both hurting about it in different ways. It was hard to understand how he could even for a minute know what I was feeling, but he did to a different point and a different hurt. We know we are so lucky to have our daughter, and trust me, we don’t take her for granted! She’s the most loved kid. But we still hurt and long for one more at least! So this is our year!!

Instagram: @Stacystevens5 

☀️ CLICK HERE TO BUY THE BEST SOCKS ON THE PLANET TO HELP WOMEN WITH INFERTILITY! A portion of every single sale will go to an incredible woman experiencing infertility. They make the BEST gifts for women experiencing infertility to remind them they are loved OR to wear to your own appointments while working hard to grow your family to remind you that you have this community of women linking arms with you. You are incredible, sister!

CLICK HERE to join our safe, private Facebook group to meet other incredible women who are walking your path. ☀️

To read Shelby Stewart's Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma & PCOS story, click HERE

 

1 comment

  • Is a secret society that no one wants to belong to. And no one really discusses. I’m struggling with secondary infertility for 5 years! Hugs and prayers to you and your sweet family!

    Lisa G on

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