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Natalie Bushman's Infertility Story

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Read Natalie's story here:

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Hi friends! My name is Natalie and I am so honored to be here to tell you about my infertility journey. Jenica and I connected a few years ago when we were both pregnant through IVF with boy/girl twins! She was a source of encouragement and helped me not to feel so alone in a time when I really struggled.

I have been married for almost 14 years to my rock of a husband, Matt, and we have four (it still shocks me to say that out loud) children.  And although I describe myself as being on the other side of infertility, it still feels like yesterday that I was sobbing into my pillow daily. 

My story is unique in that I didn’t have any trouble getting pregnant with my first child. The first month my husband and I tried to conceive we were successful and a few months later I gave birth to our oldest daughter, Blair. I just assumed it would always be that easy so we didn’t rush to have our second child. When I finally felt like I could handle another baby, things didn’t happen immediately. Or even soon. And after 6 months of trying I knew something was up. 

At our first fertility appointment I was diagnosed with secondary infertility. I was dumbfounded. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as secondary infertility. There were SO many tests that followed this appointment and for two years I did it ALL. My husband was tested (one test showed he was part of the problem and then a follow up showed he was fine), and I went through the works. Clomid, Letrozole, acupuncture, diet changes, IUI’s were the tip of the iceberg. Not to mention the tests to see if I had scar tissue from my previous pregnancy and tests to see if my tubes were still open, etc. All of this to determine that there was nothing wrong with me. There was no apparent reason for all of our trouble, which was so frustrating. 

After two years we decided to go through with IVF. There are so many decisions to make during IVF and my husband and I did what we thought was best for our family and what we thought was morally right. We chose to fertilize 5 eggs with the hopes that two would grow. I’ll never forget waiting over the weekend to see how our babies were doing. And on Monday when the doctor called to tell us only two of the five were progressing normally I crumbled. Because we didn’t go through with genetic testing, the doctor told us the odds were slim that these two would make it. 

I sobbed that day in my bathroom. How could God only allow two embryos to get past the first stage of growth? And ever so gently the Lord told me, “But, Natalie, you asked for ONE baby and I have given you TWO.” Woah. I have never felt the peace and comfort of the Lord so closely as I did that day. 

There were many dark days during my infertility struggle. I watched friend after friend get pregnant. Every month with yet another negative test spiraled me deeper into despair. Strangers would ask me if/when I was going to give Blair a sibling. I was desperate to get pregnant and to grow our family. And while I have always had faith in the Lord I can’t say my hope was fully in him during these years. I was mad. I felt alone. I felt forgotten by my Lord. 

Before we did IVF, I finally started to come back to the Lord. To trust him, to put my hope back fully in him. And to recognize that he was enough regardless if my family grew that way I wanted it to or not. He was good despite my circumstances and that was a huge life lesson I had to learn. God doesn’t always follow our plan, but he still has a good and perfect plan for us. All we have to do is trust and obey him in the process. 

My twins, Everly and Calvin, were born healthy and full term. And when they were two, we decided to try for one more baby with the mindset of “If it happens it happens and if it doesn’t we’re content.” Well, it happened right away and to this day I’m still in shock that we have four children! 

Our daughter, Logann, is the blessing we never saw coming. Not in my wildest dreams did I think that was the Lord’s plan. I’ve learned that his plan is so much better than mine ever could be. I clearly see now how the Lord used my infertility to encourage others through theirs. If you haven’t been through it you just can’t understand that kind of pain and longing. My infertility had so much purpose that I didn’t see at the time, but looking back I can see how the Lord was walking me through the fire and refining me in my faith so I could help others find theirs. I wouldn’t trade those years for anything. I was stretched and matured in my faith in a way that only hardship can do. If you are going through infertility I want you to know you aren’t alone and there is hope! I’m passionate about encouraging other women through infertility, so please don’t hesitate to reach out! 

- Natalie

Instagram: @natyouraveragegirl

 

 ☀️ CLICK HERE to buy the Slice of Sun's beautiful products like pajamas and socks! A portion of every sale will go to women experiencing infertility. Wear to your own appointments or while cozy at home to remind you that you have this community of women linking arms with you and that you're not alone. You are incredible, sister. They make the perfect gifts, too!

CLICK HERE to join our safe, private Facebook group to meet other incredible women who are walking your path. ☀️

To read Emily Estes' Infertility Journey, click HERE.

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