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Emma Drennan: 5 Things I Learned from Secondary Infertility

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CLICK HERE to join our safe, private Facebook group to meet other incredible women who are walking your path. ☀️

Read Emma's story here:

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Once upon a time, a young wife said to her husband: "Hey, I know I’m still in college, but I think we need to have a baby!" Not many months later, a beautiful baby girl was born. She was a delight. I was that young wife, and I graduated from BYU with a degree in Dietetics when this cute baby was three months old. After
graduation, I was blessed to stay home while my husband earned his MBA. As often happens though, I thought two kids would be better than one, so we began to try for another child. That first beautiful pregnancy test resulted in tears just one week later. Never in a million years, even after all my studying in college, did I think I would have a miscarriage -- let alone ten. It just never occurred to me that that could happen to me.

This miscarriage was extremely traumatic to me -- so much so, that I have no
memory besides my journal entry that this even happened. Each time I felt the prompting to have a child, my mind would be filled with anxiety. Surely if I felt prompted to have another child, I wouldn’t lose anymore, right? That just wouldn’t make sense. But time and again, loss was my story.

Before my third child, I lost one more. Then before my fourth child, I lost three.
Let me share just a little about the third one.

Thoughts overwhelmed my mind…Would I ever have another child? Why did I
keep losing babies? Was I such a bad mom that I wasn’t worthy of having
anymore children? Did I even know what personal revelation was? My heart was breaking over and over. We decided to try again though. I had never lost three in a row, so I told myself it would be fine. Fast forward to 11 weeks into this third pregnancy. Again we were at the doctor’s office. Another ultrasound…and again those words… "I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat." Oh how those words hurt like daggers. Three days later, I had my first D&C. It didn’t go well. I passed another egg sack when I got home. I bled for two months. Then I got pneumonia on top of that. My body was so tired. But my empty arms and broken heart were suffering even more. I had to try one. more. time. And a miracle was given. He is now a healthy 11 year old.


After this miscarriage, I had five more trying to have our last two children. I seriously could write a book about all these experiences. But what I can tell anyone who is right in the midst of secondary infertility is that I learned these five things:

1. I am a good person. And so are you. You are deserving of all of God’s greatest blessings. Truly, you are. Hold onto that thought.

2. God is aware of me in every single second of the day, just as He is aware of
you. I had many experiences that testified of this too me. I share about this in an IGTV video on @jubilantcreationsco (you can also watch it here on YouTube).

3. It’s okay to cry for months. I was surprised at how long it took with some of my
miscarriages for my grief to heal. It’s okay. Just keep moving forward. Peace does come. Writing has become a way for me to heal all the past sorrows. Be patient with yourself. A lot of my healing came years later.

4. Hearing the prayers of my children for my unborn child are some of the sweetest experiences I have had on this earth. When we were pregnant with my sixth child, the miscarriage before ended in a D&C. My kids were all old enough to understand what happened to my body and the sweet baby who went back to heaven. My youngest at the time prayed for our sixth baby every single meal, morning and evening prayers, and just whenever he could, the entire pregnancy. These two kids have a very deep bond that I attribute to those prayers.

5. Trust the inspiration you receive. I believe that in every step of my motherhood journey, I was guided. And although most of my kids are in heaven, I have felt their spirits. And I am forever changed by the privilege of carrying them, even if it was only a few short weeks.

I hope that today you will feel hope as you read my story. I know that every
family isn’t blessed with children. But I know that in every story there is hope. In
every story there are miracles. We just need to pause and look.

You can find Emma Drennan on IG @ajubilanthope, @jubilantcreationsco, and
ajubilanthope.com. She loves connecting with women about infertility, hope, and
faith. 

☀️ CLICK HERE TO BUY THE BEST SOCKS ON THE PLANET TO HELP WOMEN WITH INFERTILITY! A portion of every single sale will go to an incredible woman experiencing infertility. They make the BEST gifts for women experiencing infertility to remind them they are loved OR to wear to your own appointments while working hard to grow your family to remind you that you have this community of women linking arms with you. You are incredible, sister!

CLICK HERE to join our safe, private Facebook group to meet other incredible women who are walking your path. ☀️

To read Jennifer Hanks' infertility journey, click HERE

 

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