I still remember the first time I thought I was pregnant.
It was December 2014, a few days before Christmas and my period was a week late. We had been trying and tracking and charting and hoping for a couple of years.
Full of belief, I found myself shopping alone one night at Target. I couldn’t resist the tiniest little ivory, satin and tulle dress with little gold polka dots for what I felt might be a baby girl in my near future.
In the last 3 years, I have become a stronger person. I’ve learned to let go of little things. I’ve become a professional at being uncomfortable physically! Needles are no big deal anymore. I’ve made friends with the phlebotomists who have taken my blood multiple times a week for years now. My veins are beautiful they say! My relationship with my husband has grown stronger. I’ve learned it’s ok to feel sad. It’s ok to feel emotional. There is an amazing, supportive community out there that knows what we feel! You belong here. You belong in a place where you feel supported. You can be on day 1 or year 10. We congratulate good news for those around us, and We are patiently waiting for our turn!
In December 2020, we had our consult with a new reproductive endocrinologist that we had waited almost 6 months for. His energy was refreshing and he was hopeful about what would come next. He suggested IUI with injectables for us as with my PCOS diagnosis this had a good success rate. We felt that this was a good plan for us and we started this in January 2021. We did two cycles of this January and February with good follicle growth both times but unfortunately they were again not successful.
I had a laparotomy where stage 4 endometriosis was found guilty of the 17+ years of my suffering. I mean what even happened to stages 1-3!? I was advised that if I wanted to have children, I needed to get involved with a fertility specialist as soon as possible as my left fallopian tube was already destroyed.