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Fearless Infertility with Jenica Parcell | Anxiety in Pregnancy After Infertility with Emily Jackson

Being pregnant after experiencing infertility, while miraculous and joyous, also brings up a lot of fear for so many women. The uncertainty if your baby will be able to reach full term and not knowing what’s going to happen at every turn can be completely anxiety-inducing, and my guest on the show today knows exactly what this is like.

This week, I’ve got my friend Emily Jackson on the show. She has four beautiful children, but it was not an easy road to get them here. Her twin pregnancy after IVF was truly a rollercoaster of an experience, and I wanted to bring her on today to dissect how she was able to move forward during such a terrifying time in her life.

As her friend, I know Emily as someone who is incredibly mentally tough and not afraid to ask for help and support, which is one of the biggest obstacles so many women face, especially in infertility. I hope by listening in today, you’ll have your worries or questions about pregnancy after infertility addressed, and you'll discover new ways to confidently move forward every day, to show up for the experiences your life has in store for you.

For those of you who are looking to be coached by me and to start working closely with me, be the first to know about my launch coming up soon by clicking here to join my newsletter!

 

To celebrate the launch of the show, I’m giving away pajama and sock sets from The Slice of Sun that I have personally designed! ! They’re the most delightfully soft things you’ll ever put on your body and I’m giving away five bundles to five lucky listeners who subscribe, rate, and review the show on Apple Podcasts.


Click here to learn more about the contest and how to enter!

 

What You Will Discover:

  • What Emily’s journey of getting her kids here looked like.
  • Emily’s thoughts on the stigma around miscarriages and telling people about your pregnancy early on.
  • How Emily got through a scary twin pregnancy after IVF.
  • The hardest part of pregnancy after infertility for Emily.
  • What helped Emily continue to be courageous and show up every day.
  • How Emily’s life is different now because of her experience with infertility.

  

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:


       Full Episode Transcript:

               Hi friends. Welcome to Fearless Infertility a podcast for women struggling with the mental anguish that comes with infertility. My name is Jenica and after suffering in silence for too long I was able to pull myself out of the dark, take control over my mind, and create joy during my infertility experience. I’m here to help you do the same, sister. Let’s dive into today’s show.

              What is up my people? I thought it would be a great idea to start the podcast today saying that. So you decide, you can be the decision maker on whether that was a good choice or not. I am so excited to have you here today on today's podcast. I am Jenica Parcell, I am your host of Fearless Infertility.

              And today I am interviewing my friend Emily, who has four beautiful children. And it has not been an easy road to get them here. She did in vitro to get her twins, boy girl twins. And there were a lot of ups and downs. And specifically on today's podcast episode you will learn what she did to get through a scary twin pregnancy after doing IVF.

              And I think that she's very mentally tough naturally, so it comes very easily to her. And she doesn't really think that it's really anything to write home about. But as her friend I've been able to really see that that's something that comes naturally to her.

              And so we kind of dissected a little bit how she's able to continue moving forward during a scary twin pregnancy. Which I know a lot of you have questions about. And just being pregnant after experiencing infertility and that fear, not knowing what will happen and if the babies or baby will be able to reach full term. It's just kind of a scary thing, right? It's a fear that a lot of us experience.

              And so I talk with her about that, and how her life has been different because she experienced infertility. And at the end of today's episode you'll know how to more confidently move forward in just continuing step by step, day by day, and being courageous and showing up for your life and the experiences that it has brought you. So let's get into today's show.

              Welcome back to fearless infertility. Before we get into today's interview with Emily Jackson, my amazing friend who was so gracious to come on this podcast with us to talk about her experience with infertility I wanted to share with you a few of the reviews on Apple Podcasts. And I'm still giving away a pair of pajamas and socks every week for those of you who subscribe, rate, and review.

              And the reason why it's so important to me that you do this is because it helps the podcast rate better. So that when people are searching for help with infertility to get the tools that you and I are learning and know, and they don't have those tools yet and they have no idea who I am, or how to get resources to help them feel better, that they'll be able to find this podcast more easily.

              So that's the reason why I think it's so important. And that's why I would love for you to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts if you haven't yet. It's really easy to do. And I will choose one of you who leaves a review every week to give away a buttery soft pajama and sock set that I created specifically for you. So that when you're at home and you're experiencing infertility, and you feel alone, and you need that support, that you can put those on and remember that you are part of this incredible community of women and you are never alone, ever.

              So, today's podcast review winner is Kalie Schmitt. Her review says, “New favorite podcast. First of all, I want to be best friends with Jenica.” Thank you, Kayla, that is so kind of you. “But more than that this podcast has saved me. I'm currently about to start IVF for the first time and I've never felt more alone than now.

              My sister showed me her Instagram and I started listening to this podcast, and I'm not even kidding the difference I have felt. I love the supportive community she has built and has made me realize things about fertility that have been calming and hopeful. Anyone will benefit from listening even if it is to understand those who go through infertility. My favorite new podcast and I love following her on Instagram and seeing her cute family, it gives me hope.”

              Thank you so much, Kalie I love, love, love this review because it's just really confirming exactly what I want everyone to feel when they are listening to these episodes. I want you to take tangible tools with you to apply to your life immediately today to help improve how you feel and take back that control that feels very control less sometimes. Is that even a word, control less? I don't feel like it is but we're going to make it one. We do what we want around here people.

              So thank you Kalie, please email hello@thesliceofsun.com with your size and your address and we will get your PJs and socks sent out to you. And please anyone who is listening, if you've loved the podcast, please share in a review and I you could be next week's winner. So listen in each week to see if you have won.

              Another podcast review that I loved was from the username BB835. She says, “Feeling understood and validated. Navigating through infertility is hard and can be very isolating at times. This podcast helps you feel validated in your feelings. And is giving me new ways of thinking and moving forward through this season of life.”

              I love that. And that's another reason why I created this podcast and this space is because I really wanted you to remember that you're not alone. And that's the whole point is that I think that as human beings we want to be brave, we want to be in control, we want to not be the one that needs help. And that's just not going to be us all the time because we are human. Because we experience trials, we will be that person that needs community. We need each other. And this is that space for you.

              So, I love you guys. Let's get into today's podcast episode. I'm really excited to share with you my interview with my friend Emily Jackson.

              Jenica: All right, my friends. Welcome back to the Fearless Infertility podcast. I'm sitting here in studio IVL with my friend Emily. We just got done with a super sweaty workout. I love working out here.

              She has provided me with such an amazing space to socialize and honestly work through a lot of hard emotions. Because I feel like when I work out, I get good endorphins and I feel better to be able to approach my life.

              So here we are sitting up in her studio, in her office. Thank you so much for being here Emily.

              Emily: Thanks for having me. I'm nervous.

              Jenica: Oh my gosh, this is Emily's first podcast. I feel so honored.

              Emily: Yes, very first podcast.

              Jenica: She's going to do such an amazing job. Emily is my sister-in-law Rachel's sister. So I've known her for a lot of years, I love her. She is an incredible mom to four kids. And her experience with infertility was unexpected.

              And so, Emily, I'd love for you to start telling us a little bit about your experience with your family and just getting them here, getting your four kids here.

              Emily: Okay. So my first is Capri and she is nine years old. And she was really easy to get. I literally looked at my husband and I was pregnant. It was so fast I remember telling him like, “Okay, we should start trying to get pregnant because you know it could take a few months. And I probably won't get pregnant for like six months anyway, so let's just start trying.” Two weeks later I was pregnant, I got a positive.

              Jenica: That is insane. I didn’t realize it was that fast.

              Emily: And he was like, “Yeah, it took six months.” It was crazy.

              Jenica: Surprise.

              Emily: Yeah, surprise. So I got pregnant really quickly with her.

              After her it took a long time and I don't know why. I had a miscarriage after I had Capri and that was really hard. And I had been trying for a year and then I had my miscarriage. And then my doctor put me on Clomid, and I did Clomid for three months and on the third month I got pregnant with Cannon.

              Jenica: Okay, and at this point you have no idea why it took so long?

              Emily: No.

              Jenica: Okay.

              Emily: No, I had no idea and my doctor was like, “I don't know. You know, just keep trying every other night. You got to do it every other night.”

              Jenica: It’s so true, the science of getting pregnant.

              Emily: Yeah, oh yeah, my mom would say the same thing. She's like, “Those little sperms have to build up, so every other night.”

              Jenica: Thanks mom.

              Emily: So I was like, okay.

              Jenica: Here we go.

              Emily: Yeah, so we finally got pregnant with Cannon on the third month of Clomid. And Clomid was horrible.

              Jenica: What were the side effects of Clomid for you.

              Emily: Did you ever do Clomid?

              Jenica: I didn’t do Clomid, I did Femara, which is similar.

              Emily: Oh, I did Femara with the twins.

              Jenica: Okay.

              Emily:  Yeah, Clomid, heat flashes. I was super grumpy. The heat flashes were the worst by far.

              Jenica: So it’s like menopause essentially, but not.

              Emily: Yes, like I would wake up in the middle of the night, I was like freezing but I was sweating. Like I was dripping sweat but I was freezing cold.

              Jenica: Sounds really fun.

              Emily: Yeah. But my miscarriage before Cannon I was only eight weeks but still it was horrible.

              Jenica: Yeah, that's really hard.

              Emily: Yeah. So after Cannon we tried to get pregnant again. And I tried for a year and then I couldn't get pregnant. So then I did three rounds of IUI. And after that my doctor said, “Hey, I think that you need to do IVF.”

              So we did IVF and I got pregnant the first IVF round, which I feel really lucky.

              Jenica: Yeah, that's amazing. And at this point the reason why you weren't able to get pregnant is because one of your tubes was blocked, right?

              Emily: Yes. Yeah, so we did the tubal - What's it called? I don't even remember the names for anything.

              Jenica: Honestly, I've been in this space for a long time and I feel like I still don't know all the terms.

              Emily: Like I swear I've mentally blocked it out because I was talking to earlier and I was like, “I literally can't even remember going through IVF. It's all such a blur.”

              Jenica: Yeah, it’s a lot.

              Emily: But they did a test where they do the dye that goes through your tubes.

              Jenica: Yeah.

              Emily: And one of them was blocked. But the problem is I would only ovulate on one side. And it was the side that was blocked. So the clear side I didn't ovulate on that side. Does that make sense?

              Jenica: Yeah. It does make sense. Yeah, I remember you telling me about that at the time that like the side that ovulated, the eggs couldn't get through the block.

              Emily: They couldn’t get through, yeah.

              Jenica: And they think it was from your C-section, is that right? Or one of them.

              Emily: Yeah, because I had had two C-sections and there's like scar tissue and, you know, all that stuff.

              Jenica: Yeah.

              Emily: So I think that's what it's from. So we did the dye test, it hurt so bad, by the way.

              Jenica: Yeah, super crampy.

              Emily: Everybody was like, “Oh, it's not that big of a deal.” No, it freaking hurt.

              Jenica: Emily will be your friend, she's going to tell you, you guys.

              Emily: I will tell you. It's supposed to take like two minutes but the first doctor that was in there could not get the dye to go in or something. And so then they had to bring in another person, couldn't get it up. Then they brought in another doctor. They finally got it to go through but it probably took like 20 minutes and it should have taken like two minutes.

              Jenica: Fun times.

              Emily: So I was like passing out on the table. Sweating, I was crying, it hurt so bad.

              Jenica: Oh, that's awful.

              Emily: Honestly, that hurt worse than actually going through IVF I think.

              Jenica: That's good to know.

              Emily: I don’t know why.

              Jenica: I mean, if someone has a really traumatic experience with that, then just know it’s probably up from there.

              Emily: That was traumatic for me. So it really was up from there.

              Jenica: Yeah.

              Emily: But yeah, that's the reason why.

              Jenica: Okay, and then she has her two babies now.

              Emily: Yes, three and a half.

              Jenica: Three? Yeah, oh my gosh, I can't believe it.

              Emily: I know, I can’t either.

              Jenica: They’re really cute.

              Emily: I can’t believe it either.

              Jenica:  It's amazing. They're so adorable, you guys, you've got to follow her. I'll link her Instagram in our show notes.

              Emily: Yes.

              Jenica: Okay, so I want to ask you, I feel like you're really good at communicating what you need with people, just from like seeing you with your sisters and your family.

              Emily: Yeah, I definitely don't hold anything in.

              Jenica: Yeah, which is a good thing. I think it's awesome.

              Emily: I don't suppress my feelings. Everybody knows all the time what I'm feeling.

              Jenica: I think it's awesome because I did suppress my feelings a lot through infertility.

              Emily: Really?

              Jenica: Yeah, I feel like I just wanted to be happy and positive all the time.

              Emily: Is it because you want to be private with it or?

              Jenica: No, because I have like this thought in my head that it's like if you go through something hard, that's like not okay. It was the strangest thing. I've totally gotten over it now. And I've actually gotten over a lot from watching you and Rachel a lot, because I feel like you guys are so comfortable with your emotions, which I love that about you.

              Emily: Yeah, we’re a little too comfortable.

              Jenica: I love that you guys are okay with like having a hard day and then like an hour later being fine. And I feel like that's such a good thing because you process it very healthfully.

              Emily: Okay, so I was actually talking to Rachel about this because there's such like a stigma with miscarriages and keeping it private in case you have a miscarriage. Like don't tell anybody you're pregnant because you might have a miscarriage.

              That really bothers me because it almost puts shame on women. Like why can't we tell people we're pregnant early? If you have a miscarriage, I would want people to know so that they can gather around me and help me and like be there as emotional support. Why keep it a secret?

              And when I had my miscarriage, I was not secretive about it. I don't know, I just don't understand the stigma of don't tell anybody you're pregnant in case you have a miscarriage because why wouldn't you want people to be there to help you during that miscarriage and connect with other women over it? I just don't like the stigma, that bothers me.

              Jenica: Yeah, 100% Yeah, it's like society or whatever that we’re not allowed to talk about it.

              Emily: It's like shame, I don't like that.

              Jenica: Yeah, I totally agree.

              Emily: Because you need people there to help like buoy you up if you have a miscarriage.

              Jenica: Yeah, and it’s awful and it’s hard.

              Emily: I don't care how early it is. Say you're five weeks and you have a miscarriage, why wouldn't you want people to be able to help you? Why in society is that so shameful? Or why is that supposed to be a secret? I don't get it.

              Jenica: Yeah, I completely agree. And I love that you brought that up because I was kind of the same way. Not in necessarily sharing about my infertility, but in like admitting that I was having a hard time through it. Because in my head like I want to be positive, I want to be happy. But I almost feel like it was toxic for me a little bit because I wasn't allowing myself to just like be a human through it and have a hard day, and have a hard time, and be like this sucks. This is a really hard time.

              And so that's what I love about you. And honestly, I've observed Rachel so much specifically on this because I feel like you guys are so good at that. It’s just like allowing yourself to be a human and the ups and the downs, and like the 50/50 of life. Not expecting it to all be easy all the time.

              And then I feel like you process it very well instead of doing things like what I did. I was like, I’ll just eat some candy to make myself feel better. You know what I mean?

              Emily: Yeah.

              Jenica: It's so stupid. But I love that you brought that up because yeah, there's not any shame in it. I don't think that women should have to go through it alone. So when you share, it's like you -

              Emily: I mean I shared with my friends, and my mom, and everybody knew I was pregnant around me. And so when I had my miscarriage, they were all there to help and support me. And I went up and stayed at my mom's house for a couple days. And I just had Capri but, you know, my parents took Capri out on little dates, and I got to recover because it's horrible going through it.

              And I just, I don't understand. Maybe somebody can explain that to me. Like I've even had friends where they don't tell their parents that they're pregnant until they're 12 weeks, just in case they're going to have a miscarriage. Which I don’t get.

              Jenica: Yeah.

              Emily: You need help. I don't know.

              Jenica: Yeah, 100%.

              Emily: You have to surround yourself with people and get help.

              Jenica: I love that, such good advice.

              Okay, so is there a thought that helped you while doing IVF? That kind of helped you be courageous in moving forward. Or is there something that - Because I feel like you're really tough mentally. And the reason why I say that is I've observed you do things like run marathons and stuff like that.

              And I think that it just comes so naturally to you that you don't really think about it. And I just think that you're so tough mentally and maybe that doesn't come naturally to some people. So is there anything that you kind of do in your mind to approach life to just like handle the hard stuff that comes your way?

              Emily: I don't think there was anything specifically. I think just surrounding myself with people. People encouraging me. IVF honestly wasn't the hard part for me. I mean, obviously it's devastating when you go through those IUIs and you think you're going to get pregnant and you don't, and they call you and they're like, “Hey, no, you're not pregnant.”

              Jenica:  Yeah.

              Emily: That's horrible. And I feel really lucky that on my very first time of IVF that I got pregnant. I think that would have been devastating. I mean, how many IVFs did you do?

              Jenica: We did two that failed and then our third worked.

              Emily: Yeah, see, that would be devastating to go through all that and then they call and tell you it didn't work.

              Jenica: Yeah.

              Emily: But luckily for me it was positive on the first time I did IVF. And IVF wasn't super hard and traumatic for me. I don't know why. It really wasn't, it was more the pregnancy that was really, really hard, and traumatic, and scary. More than IVF ever was.

              Jenica: Why do you think that is? Like what was hard about it?

              Emily: Well, I wonder if maybe it wasn't mentally that hard on me because I already had two kids, first off. And then second, I was just more scared once I was pregnant that I was going to lose the babies because I had a lot of issues with bleeding during my whole pregnancy. And that was really scary.

              I was 12 weeks and I started bleeding. And I thought for sure I was having a miscarriage. And I went in like the next week and, you know, their heartbeats were there.

              Jenica: Oh, such a scary thing to wait for that. That moment where you're waiting to hear.

              Emily: I called my doctor and I was like, “I'm bleeding. I'm having a miscarriage.” He's like, “Don't freak out. Women bleed, it's probably not a miscarriage.”

              Jenica: Yeah.

              Emily: And yeah, I went in the next week and they were fine. But he's like, “I want you to be really careful.” So at that point I did not work out. And he didn't tell me I couldn't work out, but I didn't work out. I was very careful because I was so scared to lose them.

              And then I started bleeding again at 28 weeks, and this time it was like gushing. And I couldn't get ahold of Taylor so I called my dad and my dad came flying to my house. Like literally 100 miles per hour. Picked me up, I mean, there was like blood everywhere, it was like scary. And he drove me to the hospital so fast.

              And when I got up there, they're so relaxed about things. Like literally my dad's pushing me up in a wheelchair. And my dad is like screaming at the nurses on the labor and delivery, like screaming at them. And they're like, “Oh, you'll have to wait over there.” And he goes, “Stand up and look at her.”

              And they like looked over the thing and there was just like blood everywhere, like down the wheelchair. And so they finally were like, “Oh, okay, we should probably -” I'm like, “Excuse me? Why do you have to be so relaxed about it?”

              Jenica: Yeah, can you not freak out with me a little bit?

              Emily: Can you not freak out with me and like act like this is urgent?

              Jenica: Yeah.

              Emily: Don't act like this is nothing, this is a big deal.

              Jenica: Yeah, at least act like it's important because it clearly was.

              Emily: Yeah. So Taylor got there and Taylor was like crying. And they hooked me up and I said to the nurse like, “Do you think they're dead?” I don't know why, that's what came to my mind. And she was like, “They could be.”

              Jenica: Wow.

              Emily: And then she put the thing on and they were there. Yeah, that was scary.

              Jenica: Wow.

              Emily: So then they did a test and it showed I was in active labor. So then they gave me like the steroid shots and all that stuff and they were able to stop the labor. And they put me on bed rest in the hospital for two weeks and then I went home and was on strict bed rest. And I made it to 37 weeks.

              Jenica: I forgot about all this. Now that you mentioned it I remember it.

              Emily: Yeah, it was scary.

              Jenica: But since you made it so long, 37 weeks, I forgot that this had happened.

              Emily: I cannot believe I made it to 37 weeks.

              Jenica: That's amazing.

              Emily: That's crazy.

              Jenica: Because that’s full term for twins.

              Emily: Yeah, yeah. And they were perfectly healthy. I had had a, what's that called? The placenta was tearing away.

              Jenica: Was it like a placenta…

              Emily: Yeah, what's the word?

              Jenica: We’re very scientific in this podcast.

              Emily: I don’t know, again, I've like blocked it all out.

              Jenica: Yeah.

              Emily: I don't even remember.

              Jenica: Where it starts tearing away from the uterus, right?

              Emily: Yeah.

              Jenica: You know what’s interesting? I started having that too at 13 weeks, the exact same thing.

              Emily: Oh, so you bled too?

              Jenica: Yeah, it was like a ton of blood too, where I was like for sure I was having a miscarriage.

              Emily: It’s so much blood, yeah.

              Jenica: And waiting for those heartbeats, it was the worst. Oh, it just gives me the chills to think about it.

              Emily: It’s the worst feeling.

              Jenica: Yeah. And then when you hear those heartbeats, it's like just a flood of gratitude rushes over you. But it's also terrifying because you have this like weight hanging over you while you're pregnant and like please just make it. Please make it.

              Emily: I know. I know, it's really scary.

              Jenica: Yeah.

              Emily: And I think that's why I'm done having kids too, because I don't think I could go through another pregnancy. It was too traumatizing.

              Jenica: Yeah.

              Emily: So like more than the infertility of it, the IVF, the IUIs, all the shots, everything, it was more the pregnancy that was really hard.

              Jenica: Yeah. So what would you say is something that just helped you to like make it to the next day? Like just move forward, make it to the next day. I know you don't really have an option, right, it’s not like you can just quit.

              Emily: Yeah.

              Jenica: Well, I guess some people would choose that. But I think that you have a really great way, like I said before, of asking for the support that you need. Is there anything that you did just like mentally to help you with being brave and courageous and just continuing forward?

              Emily: I think I just took it one day at a time. And like you said, I'm not afraid to ask for help. And so I have a really good support system with my husband, and my parents, and my sisters. And so I had a lot of help with Capri and Cannon. But I think I was so determined to get them here, I just laid in bed. I watched Netflix.

              Jenica: Which is honestly hard to do. It sounds fun but it’s not.

              Emily: It’s hard. It’s fun for like two days and then you're like, “Okay.” But I would go to my parents’ house and I’d take the kids over there and I would lay on the couch. And if I even had to get up to pee, my mom would yell at me. She'd be like, “Get down.” I’m like, “Mom, I have to pee.” She'd be like, “No.”

              Jenica: You’re like, “What do you want me to pee in?”

              Emily: “Go lay down right now, you can't get up.” So it really was just like one day at a time. And I did get a little bit depressed there the last few weeks just because, I mean, I was not able to do anything. I love to work out. I love to be active. I love to play with my kids. And I couldn't do any of that. I literally was just laying there and that was horrible.

              Jenica: Yeah, I can't.

              Emily: It was almost easier in the hospital because my kids could come visit me and, you know, I don't know. I didn't feel as guilty as when I'm home because I felt fine. But to force yourself to just lay there and not do anything. No cleaning, no cooking, no nothing. That was hard.

              Jenica: Yeah.

              Emily: And I felt guilty and depressed about it.

              Jenica: That's so interesting you say that because I think that's a topic that comes up a lot in motherhood and in just women in general. I feel like we feel more guilt for the dumbest things. Because like you looking at yourself from the outside you would be like, “She's doing an amazing job. She's taking care of these two babies that are growing inside of her.”

              So do you have any thing that you would tell your past self experiencing that? Like words of encouragement that we could apply to our listeners right now?

              Emily: I don't know. There was always a scripture that ran through my head, I think. What is it? Oh jeez, now I can’t even remember the scripture. I can do all things through Christ, which strengthens me.

              Jenica: Yeah.

              Emily: Philippians 4:13. I don't know if I said it right.

              Jenica: Very good, I’m impressed.

              Emily: Yeah, that was like, growing up my grandma's favorite scripture. And she would always, always, always say that to us. And then I think just prayer. I was just constantly praying. Yeah, I just always had a prayer in my heart. I feel like I was constantly praying.

              Jenica: Yeah, I love that.

              Emily: Yeah, it was hard, but got through it.

              Jenica: Yeah, I know. It's like you don't really have a choice, you kind of like get strength that you maybe didn't know was there before.

              Emily: Yeah.

              Jenica: Which is kind of cool looking back on it because you can really be really proud of yourself for doing this amazing thing.

              Emily: Yeah.

              Jenica: And I love that you said too that you had a prayer in your heart all the time because I felt the same way. Even just after giving birth to my twins, I felt like I was so scared of so many things, just like dumb stuff. Like a lot of my friends had said like when you poop after your babies are born you get constipated. I was just terrified.

              Emily: Oh, it’s the worst.

              Jenica: I prayed to God about things like that. I was like, “Please just help me not be constipated.”

              Emily: Do you know how many prayers I've said to not be constipated? After you have a baby it’s the worst.

              Jenica: Yes

              Emily: And I had C-sections and that was even still hard. I can't imagine a vaginal birth and then being constipated, that would be horrible.

              Jenica: Honestly, he answered that prayer. I was like it never really hurt, like hallelujah. It's just like the little things that we don’t think God cares about, but I'm like, “Please just help me not be constipated.”

              Emily: It's so true.

              Jenica: But I love that, I know that he listens and he cares about the little things that we're like, “Oh, we shouldn't bother him with that.” But you can bother him with that, he listens, he’s there.

              Emily: Yes.

              Jenica: Oh my goodness. Okay, so how has your life been different because you've experienced infertility?

              Emily: I think I have a lot more empathy and sympathy for people going through infertility. Or if they can't get pregnant, or if they lose a child. I mean, even just on Mother's Day I'm thinking of the women that can't get pregnant, or stay pregnant, or they lose a baby. I think I'm just much more aware of that.

              Jenica: Yeah.

              Emily: And I think that's really changed my perspective.

              Jenica: Yeah, I totally agree with that. Because before, like growing up and even before we were trying to conceive, I didn't even think twice about Mother's Day being maybe a hard day for some people. And now I'm a lot more empathetic to that, like you said for people who have lost their moms or people who can't get pregnant. And so I love that.

              I actually remember sobbing in my closet for my two friends that had experienced infertility. It had been several years, but at the time I didn't even want to try to have kids yet, it wasn't really on my radar. And so I feel like I wasn't rude about it, I was trying to be loving and kind to them. But I remember finally understanding after going through it myself. And I was just like sobbing for them because I was like, “Now I finally get it.” And it's so different now that you see it from that lens.

              Emily: Yeah, so hard.

              Jenica: Yeah. Okay, well, thank you so much for being on the podcast, Emily, you're amazing.

              Emily: Yeah.

              Jenica: Emily is so much fun to follow online. She has an amazing workout brand called IVL Collective. It's all that I wear now, once you try her workout clothes you can't go elsewhere.

              Emily: And they're great for being pregnant too.

              Jenica: They are, very stretchy, super comfortable. So I will link her brand in the show notes, I'll link her Instagram. Her and her family are so much fun to follow. They're such good people. So thank you, Emily, for being here.

              Emily: Thank you.

              To celebrate the launch of the show I'm going to be giving away pajama and sock sets from The Slice of Sun that I have personally designed. They are the most buttery, soft, delightful things you'll ever put on your body. And I'm going to be giving away five bundles to five lucky listeners who subscribe, rate, and review the show on Apple Podcasts. It doesn't have to be a five star review, although I sure hope you love the show. I genuinely want your honest feedback so I can create an awesome show that provides tons of value to you who are experiencing infertility.

              Visit thesliceofsun.com/podcastlaunch to learn more about the contest and how to enter and I'll be announcing the winners on the show in an upcoming episode.

              Thank you for listening to Fearless Infertility. If you want more tools and resources to help you during your infertility experience visit thesliceofsun.com. See you next week. 

               

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